Little Children

I am the kind of mom who generally will bring my kids any where with me. And just for the record, my son is 1 and my daugther is 4. Do I always like to go out and about with them both, without my husband? No. But if I really want to do something or get things done...it's packing up the kids, snacks, and whatever toys or activities that might help keep them occupied. Welcome to Mommy-hood! And its not like I have 5...as of now there is just 2, soon to be 3!

When it comes to church/ministry events I am kind of reluctant about bringing the 2 of them without an extra set of hands if there is no child care provided. But, if there is something I really want to go to, it seems silly to allow my own children to deter me.

So I was recently at a ministry event. My husband was working, but I really wanted to go. I pretty much knew that there would be no child care provided but I was willing to take my chances and bring lots of snacks, drinks, and quiet toys/activities for the kids to occupy themselves with.

The night began with worship, which is always great for the kids anyways. They love the music and throughout most of it my daughter sat quietly coloring and singing while my son lay half asleep on my shoulder. Of course as soon as the music stops my son was alert and ready to party. But overall, knowing my own children and how crazy they can be, I would definitely say they were behaving quite well for most of the night. Was there some movement in the pew as the kids traveled from me to my sister and back again? Or climbing off the seat onto the floor and back onto the seat? Yes. Was there some whining over who wanted what toy or what snack in the diaper bag? Yes. Did I have to balance my attention between the minister and the kids in order to keep them in order? Obviously, it's called parenting. Was it overwhelmingly stressful and out of control? No. Were my kids throwing tantrums and screaming and throwing food and toys all over the place? No.

We're talking about typical children here. And I was really impressed with them. I could obviously see that my son was getting more whiny and tired at around 8pm. So what did I do as any mom may have decided to do? I started packing up my things and getting the kids' jackets on so we could ready to go. This is when thngs got a tad interesting, and not because of my 1 & 4 year-old little people. As I was zippering up my son's jacket I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn my head to find a man leaning over into my pew saying, "You know, if the baby is going to be so distracting to everyone, you should really take him out of here!"

Ok. Jackets are on. Things are packed up. We're obviously leaving. I was sort of in shock so I just politely responded, "Yea, we're leaving now." A kind friend sitting near me offered to help me out with my bags and as soon as I got into the parking lot I just started crying uncontrollably! I know that might sound silly but honestly, something about the fact that the guy had to lean over and say that to me just made me sooo mad...and I felt hurt, like I just took a knife to the heart for my kids. It was just a crazy experience. I basically cried on the phone to my husband the whole drive home.

I've had some time to reflect on this experience and I will say that on my part, I could have sat closer to the back of the room away from a large bulk of people for a few reasons. The kids would have had more freedom, would have been less likely to be a distraction, and I would have easier access to leave if needed. But that does not take away from the fact AT ALL that I believe that man was ENTIRELY WRONG to have said what he said to me.

In fact, I think it is entirely the wrong mentality to think that children should not be accepted and encouraged to attend ministry events, and have the freedom to eventually learn how to participate. I could see if my kids were being blatantly terrible and behaving horribly, then obviously they should be escorted out of the room to respect others. I get that. My kids were being normal kids. If we as Christians, people, whatever, get so worked up over a child making a few noises that disrupt 100% ability to concentrate and the oh so perfect silence in the room, then we have a serious problem. And if we're honest...it isn't the kids that most often distract us. My guess is that our brains are drifting from the message to what you need to do tomorrow to what you shouldn't forget on the grocery list or what time the game is going to be on later. Stepping on any toes yet? Hope not! When we roll our eyes or scoff at parents trying to get their kids to sit quietly, not only are we then causing children to be hindered from ministry and learning how to participate in ministry, but we are hindering their parents from partaking as well.

I just keep thinking about what Jesus said in Matthew 19:13-15, Then little children were brought to Jesus, that He might put His hands on them and pray; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But He said, Leave the children alone! Allow the little ones to come to Me, and do not forbid or restrain or hinder them, for of such [as these] is the kingdom of heaven composed. And He put His hands upon them, and then went on His way.

Or what about Matthew 18:1-5, At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me."

Jesus could not have been more clear in these scriptures! Not only is he saying that we should not hinder children from being in his presence, but he is telling US that we should be more like little children in our humility, faith, joy, pureness of heart...I mean the list could go on. Children are a special blessing and I am covinced that if we would be willing to pay closer to attention, we'd learn vast and endless amounts of goodness from them. I know that I learn from my 2 little kiddos everyday.

I didn't mean for this to be a rant...a really long rant. I just wanted to get my experience and thoughts out there. We cannot be so selfishly caught up in ourselves and what we expect to get out of ministry or how we want it to go that we totally forget about the kids. Child care isn't always going to be provided. And I for one, would rather my kid sit in the ministry time and learn (frome me!!!) as opposed to learning that going to church is their opportunity to play with toys and watch movies. And I don't think this is only up to parents. We all need to be more accepting and understanding. It is my hope and prayer that the Church...the body of Christ...will grab ahold of those scriptures and the reality of the importance of including children in all kinds of ministry.